prettypretty8

I don't love you as much as you love me...
because I said that I would break up with you.

The fact is this: If I was you and you were me we would get no where. Because these things aren't possible and what-ifs are what-ifs and always will be.
I don't know me as much as I think I do, and even though I know me better than you do I surprise myself every day with some new way to hurt someone.
We need to stop worrying about the what-ifs, because what-if it gets rid of us?

I cant write how I feel, but I love you so much that it rattles me.
I feel emotions that I cant explain because I love you so much.
I would give up my friends and my family and anything you wanted just to know that I could sleep next to you every night and wake up to your sweet face every morning.
I love you so much it hurts every fiber of my being to know that I've hurt you so deeply and so wrongly.
And what I did to you was deceitful and wrong and you have the right to not trust me.

But I'm trying. I'm trying so hard.
Even if it seems like I'm not and you don't believe me that I'm trying there is this battle going on inside me that you don't even know about, that no one ever has ever known about.
Because feeling like two people is so so crazy. Because telling someone that you're so weak that you cant even realize some of the decisions or some of the things that you say because you're too afraid of whatever in the distance, knowing that you are that weak and feeling like you're going to forever disappoint is so horrible to acknowledge.

I love you.

I cant wait for January;
A new year with the one person who can always make me smile, even in my dreams.

so good at writing.
what's happened to me?

Or every time that Frank updates Post Secret changes my life.
I come to realize every Sunday that my life is never as difficult as I think. I realize all over again how not alone I am in every thought I think, how ever different I think it.
I will change my life. I will not be a prisoner or a victim but I will be a challenger and an advocate to life and the things that are presented to us. Today, even if it is Bloody Sunday, is a good day. Enlightening in a non-religious manner.



I cant wait to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life.
That's my decision.

And then I found him.

Even if it would fuck up my life.
I dream about it all the time.

The maternal woman inside me screams to be let out, but I know unleashing her would end my hopes and dreams.
And that's why they invented condoms.

I really just feel like smoking the biggest bowl ever and reading until my eyes fall closed.

Today was a shitty shitty shitty day.
(Diarrhea)

All I wanted was for someone to hold my hand while I talked.
That is all.

Dirt sticks to my bare feet
and I balance on my heels
as you tell me, "This is good shit
Jeanette.
Look at this shit,
it's great huh?"

A hollowed out antler
is pressed to my lips and you smile.
"Dad, I'm the one who's sick,
remember?"
You just slap your knee.
Swing batterbatter swing.

Rain drips green off the leaves
above our heads as you give smoke signals
like we're indians or someshit.

I read my horoscope today
it said: You'll get a taste of the good life.
And I know you dont get poetry
but I love you anyway.